Wednesday 23 January 2019

Who Needs Wacky Titles Anyways!?! (part 1): Total Chaos "There are no Russians in Afghanistan" Ep, 1982

First, I have to tell you the truth. I was unable to find a decent pun to name this new series. Not a single one. I did try, really, but nothing came apart from uninspired, humourless dross. So I safely resorted to an ironically bookish reference that would make me look knowledgeable and save appearances and my reputation. But you could also say that such metafictional revelations have become cheap tricks to circumvent any potential questioning and conceal the absence of substance. But then, punk in 2019 is all about metafictions so I suppose I am just running with the postmodern pack. It is a tough business.

Anyway, let's forget about the constructedness of self-conscious writing for the moment and focus on the object: good punk records. This mini series will be about some second wave British punk bands (yes, again) whose productions sounded, looked and read a bit different from your typical record of the era. I have nothing against typical, highly contextualized punk records, on the contrary, I really enjoy archetypal productions that aptly capture the mood of a specific time and place. The Ep's I selected (the iconic 80's format) cannot be said to be groundbreaking masterpieces that changed the face of punk forever, but they display something unusual or surprising, something worth remembering for a punk trivia night. Therefore you could say that they both represented the typical sound of UK punk-rock from the early 80's (in the best way possible), and yet, were not that typical as records, for various reasons - some of which have a lot to do with modern expectations that were shaped retrospectively by our epoch's obsession with classifications. But that's just a lot of fancy words to state a simple truth: the series is about five cool British punk records from the 80's. That's more tweetable I guess.

Let's start with Total Chaos. Yes, Total bloody Chaos. Now, when a punk hears the name Total Chaos, there is a high chance he or she is going to think right away about the famous LA-based punk band, which makes sense since they have been playing since 1990 (with Rob as the sole original member), recorded three albums for Epitaph and seem to be playing at big punk festivals every summer. I don't dislike the band, I think their early demos are enjoyable in a (very) raw, noizy, Disorder-y way and even Pledge of Defiance has some good songs (however, the best thing about LA Total Chaos is that they used to tour with Resist and Exist and Media Children in their early days, something that "streetpunx" vastly ignore). As a moniker, "Total Chaos" definitely conveys the idea of fast, aggressive, distorted, punker than punk punk-rock for the true punx. But in this case, this preconception is proven wrong since the Total Chaos we're dealing with today were actually highly tuneful, and much closer to bands like Chron Gen or The Epileptics than Chaos UK or Disorder. It is probable that when the band formed in 1979, the term "Total Chaos" didn't have quite the same connotations as a few years afterwards when the so-called UK82 wave was at full speed and mentions of chaos in a name immediately conjured up images of studs, spikes and cider.



Total Chaos were from Gateshead (close to Newcastle, aka up north) and were active in the creation of The Garage, an important independent venue locally run by the Gateshead Gig Collective, who would open The Station a few years after, a legendary venue which hosted many great gigs and played a crucial role in the making of the punk scene in the area. The band recorded their first demo in early 1981, a rather rough seven-song tape which included primitive versions of songs that would end up on their first two Ep's. In 1982, they re-recorded two songs off the demo (their anthem "There are no Russians in Afghanistan" and "Primitive feeling") and a new one ("Revolution part 10") for their first vinyl output, There are no Russians in Afghanistan (this Cold War conflict really inspired punks it seems), released on their very own Slam records, although it would be repressed by Volume Records later on with a different backcover (that's the version posted here). The title track of this humble Ep, despite its minimal production, raw sound and limited musicianship, is an absolute winner with a contagious energy, snotty vocals and a catchy singalong chorus that only angry, angst-ridden teens can write properly. The song is rather basic in itself but the sense of tunes, the overall dynamics and the urgent delivery turn it into a genuine punk-rock hit, the very essence of punk. TC were a musically ambitious bunch in the sense that they did not want to sound too formulaic and were keen on trying different things, even on their first Ep. The second song has a darker, more melancholy mood and has a slower pace with an ominous postpunk guitar melody popping up. It still is fairly simple but, again, it works very well, probably because of the directness and spontaneity of the songwriting. They did not try to do, they just did. "Revolution part 10" is even more surprising since it is a drums and vocals number, which reminds me of D & V (though they actually came a little after). Fueled with political, anarcho-tinged lyrics, this song would have fitted just right on an anarchopunk compilation at the time  and it eventually landed on the 1982 Ep Papi, Queens, Reichkanzlers & Presidennti, a comp released on Attack Punk records from Italy that also included 5° Braccio and Kaaos (the label would become very successful with CCCP in the mid-80's).



Although often mentioned as a "UK82 band", TC appeared on the second volume of Bullshit Detector and had the "pay no more than" tag on their records. The boundaries between the anarchopunk scene and the so-called second wave of punk (often referred to as UK82 since the rise of the internet age) in the UK could evidently be quite porous according to your area. Whatever the box you want to force TC into, they believed in the value of creating a DIY punk scene for themselves and their lyrics were of a political variety, albeit always from a working-class perspective, with songs about media manipulation and distortions of facts (still very much relevant), the constant betrayals of political leaders, prisons, nuclear disarmament and so on. Their second Ep, Factory Man, was released the same year (1982) and showcased again the band's will to experiment, with two songs of catchy, energetic, tuneful punk-rock while the two others, much longer numbers, blended folk music, pop and Stiff Little Fingers (or something). It was the second release of Volume Records, a label which would become highly successful with another local band, The Toy Dolls. The band's final record would be the Fields & Bombs 12'' in 1983, a work that saw them experiment further with some new wave, glam and pop rock thrown in while keeping a catchy punk-rock backbone. It is not a great record, but it still makes for a good listen I guess.

The tuneful, snotty, catchy punk-rock songs that TC wrote were up there with what the second wave had the best to offer. Bands like Demob, Chron Gen, Reality or The Epileptics certainly come to mind and strangely enough there has never been a reissue of TC (yet?). Although it would be far-fetched to claim that everything they recorded was brilliant, they did pen a few unbeatable punk gems and just for that achievement, they should be properly considered. And come on, that chorus on "There are no Russians" is just punk magic and we all know it. And maybe they inspired other tune-oriented bands from the North like Reality Control, Famous Imposters or Blood Robots. I like to think so.




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