Sunday 5 July 2020

Ten Steps to Make Your Life CRUSTIER Starting Today (step 3): Genital Deformities "Shag nasty! Oi!" Lp, 1989

I have been thinking about all those bands that never got to exist lately. Those that never went past the practice stage, assuming they actually got enough of their shit together to enter a practice room. I suppose we all have dozens of unborn bands, often the result of boozing sessions with your mates during which everyone thought it'd be hilarious to form a mock ska band or agreed that what this town really needed was a more traditional d-beat band called D-Charge. Usually, after sobering up, such projects never really happen since the very concept of it often proves much more fun than its actualisation and the logistics involved in playing in a band. And let's face it, if many such ideas sound hysterical when formulated while intoxicated, the truth is that, in most cases, a lot of them should indeed remain in the realms of projection and although I have been threatening for several years to concretise Skarcass, my ska band devoted to covering early Carcass songs, I am fully aware, deep down, that humanity may not deserve to have this calamity unleashed upon it and that it would be safer for all involved that Skarcass, tragically, never sees the light of day. It would be a right laugh though.

Was Genital Deformities the product of a heavy drinking session somewhere in the West Midlands in 1987 when a drunk teenage punk offered excitedly to form the noisiest band possible with the most disgusting and obnoxious name they could think of? Quite likely indeed. Fortunately for punk history, GD became real and created a genuine early crust classic with Shag Nasty! Oi!. However, and rather unfortunately for matters of appropriacy, they stuck with the moniker Genital Deformities, a courageous choice maybe, one that may have some appeal to lovers of purposefully gory disgusting noise, but akin to shooting yourself in the foot and then trading your crutches for some shite speed offered by a right dodgy geezer in the loo if you are not actually a goregrind band, which GD never were although they have been misconstrued as such.



I haven't learnt much about the band since I last wrote about them in my review of their 1994 split cd with the mighty Subcaos (here) but what you must know is that GD recorded their first demo in December, 1987, a recording (I doubt it was ever actually released physically) that respected the "noise not music" doctrine with the utmost loyalty as it was, quite literally, noise and certainly not music. Made up of fifteen "songs", most of them being short and brutal bursts of hardcore noise, it was recorded with a drum machine and a singer who was clearly on white cider and it can be said to be a prime example of early noisecore giving Sore Throat's Aural Butchery a run for its money in terms of gruff roughness. Amidst the blasting chaos and the utter dementia pervading the demo, some songs introduced heavy mid-paced Frost-like riffing and atmospheric crust moments that did point to where GD would be heading the year after once they got a stable lineup (or once they saw themselves as an actual band) and decided to write proper songs. In 1988, GD recorded an Ep that was never released and included six songs that would all be rerecorded on the Lp. Since this recording can be considered as a sort of rawer version of the album, there is no need to slobber over it too much but let me tell you that it easily outcrusted most of the competition at the time (thanks a million to Panzer Badger for exhuming this unreleased masterpiece). So let's proceed to Shag Nasty! Oi!.

I suppose that when the name of your band already refers to deformed genitalia, calling your album Shag Nasty! Oi! should be considered as rather benign, even though it certainly conjures up the saucy songs of the Macc Lads. Since the Lp does not have an insert, I am unable to assess how ironic this title was in the light of the lyrics which, from what I can decipher, with some difficulty because of the super gruff cavemen vocals, were quite serious and abstain from the lewd and fruity. As for the cover of the album, I could write a whole article about it. First, because it is a stunning artwork drawn by Skinny who had already done covers and posters for Doom, Napalm Death, SxOxB or Extreme Noise Terror at that point and second because it is a stunning but penis-based artwork. Again, you could argue that a band called Genital Deformities and an album called Shag Nasty! Oi! would use a phallic landscape for a cover, it just makes sense, and at least their artistic choices are coherent and the vision is clear, as overrun with dicks as it might be. On the one hand, I love the cover because it looks very macabre, nightmarish and grotesque and very punky too and it can be admired for the well-composed and detailed piece of punk art that it is. On the other, it makes wearing my GD shirt a highly delicate endeavour for, if its aesthetics kinda look like Nightmare Before Christmas from a distance, anyone looking closer can notice that I am covered in erect ejaculating penises and there is a priest with two cocks in his mouth holding what appears to be a penis-made nunchaku and very much enjoying it (without mentioning the lecherous Thatcher-like figure seemingly involved in some kind of wild orgy with penis-shaped skeletons). So probably not the most adequate outfit to wear for your nan's birthday (although you never know, do you?). In spite of all the sexual references and if you manage to abstract yourself from the penis imagery, the overall atmosphere of GD's visuals did possess that dark apocalyptic and decadent feel one can find on a lot of classic crust records, locating the band in the original strong crust tradition.



Shag Nasty! Oi! is, as deliberately disgusting as the cover might be, an absolute stenchcore crust classic, a practically flawless album worth of praises that ought to be celebrated as often as possible. I remember getting the Lp for quite cheap about fifteen years ago and looking at the prices on discogs, it looks like Shag Nasty! Oi! is a crucial piece of crust culture that is still rather affordable. I have to admit that I was extremely suspicious upon ordering it because of the band's name but it was described as "UK crust from 1989" and, in my fanaticised mind, this combination of words always evokes images of crust grandeur. It makes the heart beat so to speak. Once I got over the shock caused by the cover and mentally accepted the fact that I had been conned into acquiring a grindcore Lp, I played the album and realized how wrong, mistaken, naive, foolish, arrogant, misled and juvenile I had been. Throughout punkstory, although a consequential number of crust bands have claimed to be influenced by Celtic Frost and Hellhammer, few succeeded in crustifying properly the mighty Frost sound and among those who did, GD have to lead the pack. Shag Nasty! Oi! manages to incorporate and rework Frost and Hellhammer riffs and structures into a decidedly metallic UK crust sound. It has got the incredible rocking groove that the Swiss were known but instead of evil and ominous, GD sound like noisy cider-fueled punk cavemen in an advanced stage of dementia obnoxiously covering Celtic Frost opening for Napalm Death and Doom at the Mermaid in 1988 (quite possibly the best compliment I have ever paid on the blog). The songs are dark and heavy, mostly groovy and mid-tempo primitive crusty metal epics, but you do have a couple of faster numbers (like Frost had really) and even a grinding one, and although the songwriting template informing the fifteen songs on the album is clear to see, it never sounds redundant. The guitar sound is to die for, thick, heavy, loud and rocking, with an almost organic quality, it sounds like the gurgles of a happily rotting corpse and makes the Lp stand tall along with the vocals. I suppose you could write a whole essay about those insane-sounding, gruff vocals that sound grotesque and macabrely theatrical, but also very threatening and pissed, even more so than Sore Throat's, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the singer spent the recording session in a straitjacket.

One may venture that the intent behind Shag Nasty! Oi! was to create an hyperbolic and ludicrous, dark, organic, thick crust metal work, that is both serious and farcical. GD were certainly on a par with the best of the early crust waves and meaningful comparisons can be made with early Hellbastard, Axegrinder and Sore Throat whose mid-paced moments were also very Frost-oriented. And if you are still slightly circumspect, please listen to the song "Dark sky," basically one of the best stenchcore crust songs ever written, its anthemic value especially emphasised by the delicate acoustic intro "Crouterposs" that precedes it on the album. "Dark sky" sounds like a crusty dance of death, like the soundtrack to the end of the world, like the crust to end all crusts. The slow-paced opening beat with its long pause is a proof that crust punk can be innovative while remaining heavier than a tramp's breath, the vocals remind me of an intoxicated grizzly bear and the unsuspected ominous Amebix-like synth-driven eerie break in the middle utterly takes the song to Mount Olympus Crustus. "Dark sky" is a perfect old-school crust song, like Axegrinder's "Final war", Hellbastard's "We had no evidence", Nausea's "Extinction" or Misery's "Born fed slaughtered" and .

The lineup on Shag Nasty! Oi! was made up of Tom Croft (who would join Excrement of War shortly after), Crow, John and Tim and it was their last collaboration as the subsequent 1992 Profession of Violence tape (also released on vinyl as a split with Nuclear Death from Poland) had Crow, John, Jez and Mik Vik. That GD lineup then split up but the band kept going for the split cd with Subcaos with only Crow as original member, the rest being Higgy, Neil, Iggy and Ade (who left before the recording session). The recordings that followed Shag Nasty! Oi! may not have been as crusty, but if you are looking for Frost-inspired heavy UK hardcore punk, it does not get much better. A tragically overlooked band, doomed by a preposterous moniker. That's punk, innit?                        




3 comments:

  1. Love the hellraiser clips on shag masty. I have the nuclear death split also. Not as good thoug . I'm a big big stenchcore collector like you

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tom Croft was the singer on the doom fuck peaceville sessions I believe..then quit thereafter

    ReplyDelete
  3. MY OH MYwhat a set of pure compliments...thanks for making shag nasty with me and my mates so worthy of such a great review miss the band days what a great time.....crowe






    ReplyDelete